Мир нашим крышам.
1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
5. There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
11. There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.
16. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Если кто-то что-то не понял, спрашивайте у меня. Я не понял тоже, но что-нибудь придумаю.))
2. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
5. There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
11. There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.
16. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Если кто-то что-то не понял, спрашивайте у меня. Я не понял тоже, но что-нибудь придумаю.))
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16.03.2009 в 19:562. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
3. I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
4. He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
5. There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.
6. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
7. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'.
8. When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
11. There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.
12. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.
13. The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
14. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
15. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
16. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
17. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
18. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
19. A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.
20. Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.
21. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
22. Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you.
23. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
24. Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run.
25. The cowboy dismounted on the spur of the moment to stirrup some trouble, bridled at being arrested and saddled the sheriff with a bit of a problem.
26. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
27. Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?
28. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
29. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
30. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
31. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat says to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'.
32. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
33. He didn't tell his mother that he ate some glue. His lips were sealed.
34. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
35. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
36. The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out.
37. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
38. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering.
39. Now matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
40. For a while, Houdini used a lot of trap doors in his act, but he was just going through a stage.
41. When the TV repairman got married the reception was excellent.
42. Old doctors never die they just lose their patience.
43. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
44. It's better to love a short girl than not a tall.
45. Opening a new funeral parlor can be quite an undertaking.
46. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
47. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
48. We were so poor when I was growing up we couldn't even afford to pay attention.
49. The cannibal's cookbook titled 'How to Better Serve your Fellow Man' was written by a guy who had a wife and ate kids.
50. If you step onto a plane and recognize a friend of yours named Jack don't yell out Hi Jack!
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16.03.2009 в 20:19ууужас
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17.03.2009 в 01:39